Howzabout an RPG?

Indeed, WW Ganondorf is bad anus. And PH, although still very good, isn't really as good as most Zelda games. Get Spirit Tracks. There's trains!

I'm not exactly fond of the notion of basing a higher villain off T-E. Sure, VTP heroworships him and that rant of his needs to die, but I still respect the man just a bit too much.

That said, we could go on a slight tangent and have Lord Rattlehead seek to revive an extremely influential and powerful ancient organisation known as PDaCB. That actually is happening on BZP, except T-E is no longer at the head of it. It's undoubtedly going to suck. Use of said organisation here probably wouldn't suck though. Of course, said organisation would - though not necessarily evil itself - be harnessed by Lord Rattlehead to perform evil deeds of evil.

YES.

I'm thinking a rough parody of Organisation XIII of the Kingdom Hearts series - in that the leaders wear black cloaks and have various powers. In terms of the appearance and attributes of the various individuals, perhaps we could apply a similar methodology to how we devised Lord Rattlehead; that is, caricatures based on the past BZP display names of the old authors of PDaCB, including T-E. For example, one member - perhaps the most sinister of the lot - would be named Pak, and would have sonic powers and his head would resemble that of Pacman (or however it's spelt).

Aka-

Nerds.

YES. The scroll could have been created millennia ago by the legendary Editoralis, the deposed former leader of the P.D.A.C.B. (he was indeed a being of darkness, as is his portrayal in various BZP comics) who lost his title when his subjects grew sick of his bizarre "attempts" to create peace, of which the legendary scroll was one. Perhaps the scroll, in spite of its shielding contents, also has the ability to corrupt its bearers in a One Ring-esque manner.

oh god this would make a hilarious comic series, but I frankly couldn't be stuffed to act upon that

I fully support that notion. The question is, logically Lord Rattlehead would have henchmen to at least pilot his battleships, so of what should they consist?

Also, might as well go the whole nine yards and create one of those enormous media conglomerate projects like The Force Unleashed - games, novels, comics, toys, beach towels, and - most importantly - undergarments with Lord Rattlehead decals, all of which tell the same/a similar story in a different way.

Updated scenario.

The year is 201X. A psychotic Evil Dark Lord of Evil Dark Darkness of Evil and presumed heavy crack user, Lord Vezon T. Rattlehead, has surfaced in some random world or another. He has announced his intention to resurrect the ancient brotherhood of P.D.A.C.B. for his own purposes, and he'll use any means necessary. Many brave souls have attempted to bring an end to his madness, but had a swift end brought to them by use of such weapons as the BZPCannon and the Rantinator. Now, five random teenagers who don't seem to get that the world is doomed, by use of powers based upon a lack of imagination brought about by television and the internets, must gather, find the legendary Scroll of Editoralis, and put a stop to the metalhead ways of... the Rattlehead.

As with before, sense and plot optional.

And it was almost all synthesised from raw fail and meh. This is truly a victory for SCIENCE.

The general detail of the RPG plotline indicates that we, as the title "5 teenagers", have powers. I take it that we can choose our own powers independently, rather than having those that we would not want thrust upon us?

Yup. Do whatever, basically.